Stray Cats and homes... my first viewspaper article...

my first article for The Viewspaper on stray cats and my experiences with my ex-pet rocket got published...
Click here for the link.

Being 20

Somehow, I never felt old being twenty.

But you do feel it, while talking to people younger than you, your sentences tend to begin with “when I was your age”, a sentence I used to hate when I was younger. You somehow seem to think that the children today are irresponsible and spoilt and that you faced the most difficulties when you were their age.

I didn’t whine about getting older or responsibilities this April when I turned twenty. Frankly I didn’t need to. Nor did I feel any major changes in me. But then one day it hits me. Like a hammer on my head. Fuck, I am twenty.

It hit me when I was watching a show on TV. One participant was 18 years old. He came up and I randomly told my mom, wow this guy is 2 years younger than me. In a flash, my mind recalled my age; Twenty. After that, somehow, he did not seem to be that young. I realized that my age was no longer a valid milestone to judge peoples youngness by. I realized though I wasn’t getting old, I was getting OLDER.

Suddenly these thoughts of responsibility, job, family started coming to mind. My parents who seemed to be ever young to me, began to age right before my eyes. I had ignored the white hair on my dad’s head. From the times I remember they had always been salt and peppered. But now they were completely white. Not a single black hair. My mom whose cheeks I had grown up pulling seemed old. The cheeks weren’t as plump as they used to be. The bright eyes had bags under them. The hands which were always strong enough to pick me up seemed to be tired now. When I looked at her face somehow I felt as though now I need to pick her up. I needed to get strong enough 

to support her when she needed me. To be the man she’d always dreamt I’d be.

I realized how careless, reckless and irresponsible I had been. I used to shoo off the ‘when will you grow up?’ and ‘I can’t always be responsible for you’ talks from my parents thinking I was too young to be bothered about this. Then I realized why they wanted me to grow up. I am man. A twenty year old man. And I was not at all acting like one. Now was the time they expected me to shoulder at least my responsibilities. Now was the time they wanted at least my weight and worry off their shoulders. And they weren’t wrong in expecting so.

When I look at the mirror, see a stubble on my cheeks, I realize its time I became a man. Actually acted like one. I wasn’t 15 anymore when the only measure of your manliness was the amount of facial hair you had. I had to grow up. Life could not be all fun and games any more. It could have fun and games, but that could not be the end of it. I had to shoulder some responsibility. If not take up any of my parents responsibilities at least get my responsibility off their aging shoulders. Give them peace by not having to worry about me.

Being twenty is not easy.  It’s a time when you are stuck between being yourself, what your heart tells you to be and the responsibilities on your head. It’s an age where you can’t pretend to be a kid anymore like you could when you were a teen. You somehow also don’t want to leave the comfort and security of pretending to be a child, hiding in the strong but now weakening arms of your parents. It’s a time you have to break off from the best phase of your life to be responsible. Be a man not for your sake but for the sake of your loved ones. So that they can enjoy now.

Because the day I was born, my parents started living for me. For twenty long years, they have thought of nothing more than me and my sister. Never have they thought about their comforts. They lived for their children, worked for them, still work for them and also dream for them. It’s been twenty years. Twenty years of performing their duty righteously. Twenty fucking years. It’s about time these dreams got realized. It’s time now they relaxed. Took a break and enjoy the last phase of their lives.

Life’s short. I can’t believe it’s been ten years since the pizza on the occasion of a new millennium. Or that I left Doha and moved to India six years ago, that 2 years of college are already over. I don’t know why some people say life’s long. I think it’s too short. At the end of it you just wish you could rewind some moments, live them again. I have many of those moments. This, I am thankful for. At least I know I had an eventful twenty years which I can live in memory of for the next forty five- fifty years left to live. I don’t know how successful I will be in my endeavor to grow up, but I will have these memories to hang on to.

Now though, it’s time to be a man, be someone. I might always remain a child. But I have to try. Live for someone other than me. Care for something other than fun. Be what my parents always dreamt me to be. Be the man to deserve a woman. To deserve children. A man worthy of being called a man.

-Dipen Bankim Shah

Autowalla bhaiya... the true gyaanis

Somehow most of my entertaining and interesting senarios always happen with the auto wallas of Mumbai. While on my way from Sion to Andheri in an auto, I was talking to the auto walla about the metro construction in Mumbai and how long it would take to complete. At this he said:

"Arrey jitna time lagna hain utna hee lagayengaa... jaada kyon lagega???
Dhirubhai ka sapna,
Mukesh hain Apna."

Autowalla bhaiya... u r the true gyaanis...

20th bday

People asked, how does it feel to be 20?

old?

I never felt younger...

Or more childish...

My bday...

on a hill top...

in a hostel...

legendary...

smashed immaculate...

Safe Me.

On 17th of April, 2010 at around 5pm, Dipen Shah said to Suhani Arora: "I am a safe guy. Infact I am so safe, they could use me for a condom commercial". Peculiar. So me.

How Priya Kumar mind humped me...

(click to enlarge)

Lucky newton!!!

(click to enlarge)

The Agnostic Bastard

Agnostic: Person who believes that nothing can be known of the existence of God.

Welcome to our side of the story. Welcome to confusion.

Non-believers put down believers, believers put down non-believers. Caught in the middle are we, the side taking heat from both the ends. We are the people who ‘can’t make up their mind’ or are ‘too weak to take a stand’.

I am confused. Don’t get me wrong. I was born into a family of believers. I was a devout Hindu believer until I started seeking my own God, until logic started taking form. While debating my rational friend logic, I realized that both sides were wrong.

Let’s refute the atheists first. As they depend on science to refute God, we shall use science to refute them. Science believes in causality. So what caused the creation of the universe, this ‘somethingness’ around us? Moreover, where did all of it come from? Something cannot come from nothing and therefore something must have already existed for it to be created into.

Now let us find flaws with the believer’s side. We were created by God and he is our father the mighty creator. So far, so good. Now if we believe that everything that exists has to be created by some God, this mighty, mega, supreme power; who created God? Does God have a God too? And if so does God’s God have a God too? And thus we enter this eternal loop of questions, which will never have an answer. And if such is the case how is God different from us humans? Don’t we create too?

The believer’s have God as their father; the non-believers are fathered by science. But I am a Bastard, an Agnostic bastard with only skepticism as my surrogate mother.

Am I the Agnostic to blame if both sides are not entirely right? Am I to blame if neither Mr. Science nor Mr. God is endowing us with an answer?

I don’t know and I have excepted that. It’s high time that you Mr. Atheist and Mr. Believer too acknowledge that you too do not know. This is me taking a stand.

This is the Agnostic stand.

Suhani my lord!!!

(Click images to enlarge...)

AD comic: Part 1

(Click to enlarge images)

What type of a place do I live in???

Yes, this is the state of my country.

A country where the government is critisized to the core but when they do manage something good, something useful, the media and the people still make it look bad.

Knowing the fact that Mumbai is in a bad water crisis situation, knowing that this year had the worst monsoons since 1972, knowing that we have 23% lesser water than wat we actually need, people still went to protest a cut of 15% in water supply by the BMC (Brihanmumbai Municipal Corporation).


In case the Corporation did not conserve the water, let it flow and be wasted as usual, water would have run out leading to even worse cuts than 15%. Then too the people would criticize the government.


And this news paper, instead of telling people that the water cut is good for them as it will lead to convenience throughout the year, instead of telling them to calm down and be happy its only 15% cut, the newspaper glorifies the stupid act of many people to be justified and weighs all the attention on the death.


What type of stupid people are you? Do you not realize what is done is being done for you? Are u retarded enough to not realize what is good for you? Grow up you fuking retards. Who the fuck protests against something like this? Its illogical, stupid, retarded and dumb.


As for the person who died, unfortunate, hard luck, sorry, RIP. But you did protest against something stupid. As for the injured good you retards you deserved it.   


(the picture or the blog serve the writer no profits. They are solely used to express opinion)

"Jailed Abroad tells true stories of the traveler’s worst nightmare when a holiday in paradise become a journey to hell that ends up in prison abroad. NGC bring real stories from the life of travelers who have fallen prey to local system and found themselves behind bars."

This is how National Geography's program "Jailed Abroad" is described by the channel. Now i have seen the program many times and I do not understand the ethical stand of the maker. Sure many of them are innocents who have been done wrong. But most of them are people who have been caught using or trying to smuggle drugs internationally on flights.


These drugs to not some light ones like marijuana or hash. These guys transport hard core drugs: Heroine Cocaine etc.


Then this program tries to show the emotional aspect of these 'Peddlers'. We are supposed to show pity. Pity for those who would probably get another 2-3 children hooked on to drugs. And people actually feel bad of them!!! Why???


Dumb Fuks... 


(the picture is serving the writer of this blog no profits)

A loop hole in your advice...

On a recent occasion, I told someone not to listen to crap other people say and to do what he/she feels...

Now,

If he/she continues to listen to crap from other people, then clearly he/she didn't take my advice.

If he/she accepts doesn't listen to crap other people say, he/she is following my advice. Which again brings he/she to the point where they are not following my advice which in the first place was not to listen to what other people say.

WTF!!!

So no matter what, this advice can never be followed. The basic reasoning and structure behind this advice is false.

So people, i have had enough of this... I m not gonna listen to do wat ur heart feels again...

life of an intern at an ad agency...

I was just talking to some head in my office here at JWT where i m interning...

I was blogging...

He introduced himself...

I told him I am from SIMC...

He said, "so you are an intern, then you should be facebooking..."

How can I say no to a head???

Why home isn’t home…

·        I am too used to vada paav, chai breakfast.

·        Feeling of uselessness and unproductiveness is a constant mate in Pune… here you can’t feel that way.

·        Clean clothes surprise my nose… make me feel out of place.

·        Money is not an issue… you can always ask for it.

·        Things are not scattered around… you don’t have to spend hours picking up things, looking under them for stuff… nor are there things under you when u sleep.

·        There is actually a time for everything.

·        Hygiene doesn’t depend on you any more.

·        There’s always clean water.

·        You don’t need to go treasure hunting for food.

·        People tell you what to do… and how to do…

·        Compared to the mess meals, all meals at home seem to be delivered from 5-star restaurants.

·        Meals are supposed to be at regular intervals.

·        There’s always electricity.

·        A.C.!!!

·        10:30 is like past bed time.

·        You have to be awake for at least 12 hours a day.

·        U can’t play music 24/7.

·        Now whenever at home, you are working somewhere or the other.

·        Collars are not compulsory.

·        Some of the things around you serve no purpose and are actually ‘AESTHETIC’.

·        Hugs and pecks are rare.

·        Sinks work… Lights switch on!!!

·        There are chairs to sit on.

·        You need not check your wallet before every meal.

·        Alcohol is non-existent.

·        Wants can be made to look like needs. In Pune needs also are optional depending on the date of the month.

·        There is ample time for everything.

·        College= person in front of you, you don’t talk… lost.

Home= Land line + Internet= Always keep in touch… with people you don’t even look at in college.

·        Though bored in Pune too, boredom at home is more boring. ‘I am bored’… the most typed chat words.

·        You are tagged intern.

·        You can only explain to your relatives about 10 times as to career in media ≠ reporter.

·        You are over whelmed with your mother tongue.

·        Randomness vanishes… Everything is planned.

·        World seems dull… colors faded… due to lack of S.I.D.

·        Not everyone you are with is of your age.

·        There is no one place from where u can get all software, movies and songs… pune you have joji…

·        All your needs are already stacked at home.

·        Home = no crisis = no panicking = no fun.

·        Where are the girls???

·        You are bored enough to write such notes.

·        Every time you try and sit on a ‘wall’, mom dad call you back saying if you are jobless, be jobless at home.

·        You greet friends with “How you been? Where’s your internship? How’s the work?” rather than “wanna drink?”

·        Mc Donald’s is not as good as MEGA BITE!!!

·        You can’t justify eating junk saying ‘I’m hungry’…

·        No fresh ATM notes… all of them come via mom.

·        You are provided with ‘In case of emergency money’.

·        Your jeans get washed every two days.

·        You have no one to bug or talk to at 2 in the morning.

·        There is no fantastic 61 bottle collection at home.

·        There is liquor at home which lasts for more than two days and which you cannot consume.

·        There are no WiFi connections to steal from.

·        You can’t bitch much.

·        No scooty back rides.

·        No 1’0 clock airport food.

·        No so many friends to love!!! L

·        No Aditi Shah!!! Sob… sob…

·        Basically, No LIFE!!!

What I learnt in the past few days...

In the past few days, I have learnt a lot, felt a lot. An experience that really made me grow up. Something inside me taught me to be older than me. I have realised the one most important thing in life.

As i told niki:

"I have realised growing up is not about losing your childhood. I am still a kid. Growing up is just knowing when to not be a child".

Hopefully all who meet me now see this side of me... :-)

No Sex Pls... We're indians...

Children in India are born of virgin Mothers.
No wonder our society cant bear to see, hear or even read anything which is even minutely related to sex.
Kissing and hugging is sex.
Holding Hands is Fellatio.
Sitting together in public is foreplay.
Khajurao was an edited temple... the 'YOUTH' made kamasutra in the temple...

So don't have sex... don't talk about it... don't read about it... don't even suggest it... Cause we are INDIANS...

Jai Hind!!!


(the title is not mine... i heard is somewhere...  Horn(y)... ok???... pls???)

the two sides of me...

my two sides...

one white... the other black...
one happy... the other pissed...
one high... the other sober...
one angry... the other ecstatic...
one me... the other one not so me...

Ode to SIMC

For all the true SIMC'ians...

(pics censored to protect identities of these notorious people)
• PR is only during the admissions.
• Teachers have worse english than Manoj Bhaiya.
• JWT.com= advertsement & santabanta.com= porn
• Journalism is only limited to word of mouth about shit happening in the hostel rooms (literally!!!)
• Teachers pay more attention to how you say than what you say. (ask Kannagi).
• The subject of the class is decided AFTER the class starts (Mr S.G.)
• Sir calls 'lavle' as 'laude'.
• Editing goes as far as play, rewind, play rewind...
• Every shooting class is a revision.
• Some sir has a bunch of pen drives which were apparently 'LOST'.
• PG takes all our money and then everything is cancelled (including faculty).
• There should be a time table to keep in touch with the ever changing actual time table.
• The condition of your facial hair is more important than media.
• Someone is trying to get into the good books of hitler.
• College makes viman nagar seem like the 'CITY OF GOD'. (watch the movie)
• Class is all about critisism and then critisising the critisism.
• There is only one camera for 138 students but there are 'Touchfree Infrared Flushes' in the boys toilet.
• Faculty assumes everyone injects drugs.
• There is a class which people think is actually for sleeping (trust me i dont).
• When asked to teach till 04:30pm (which is the actual scheduled class) and not cancel the break, the teacher asks if the students will pay Rs. 200 for her auto (Mrs. N.P.).
• Talks about professionalism only lead to more unprofessional fights.
• Faculty confiscates phone, uses it, then loses it. (ask Shreya).
• Everyone is creative.
• Everone has a script for a short film.
• Twins don't talk.

I'm Lovin'n It!!!

Aamar Shonar Bangla...

Its seriously amazing how boredom in classrooms is directly propotionate to the creativity while doodling...

This made in Photoshop theory class....

No offense to anyone belonging to any region... this is bangal by me...

No offence guys... take it in humour... good humour...